Sometimes a child will have ‘falling in love’ with someone who is not a Muslim, and informed their parents that they want to married that person. Maybe the child will continue the relationship with the person they have ‘falling in love with’ whilst married. I’m pledging allegiance to the Caliphate – and no, I don’t mean ISIS, Islam Has a History of Protecting Civilisation, Not Destroying It. But it can be confusing and daunting with so many theories of good parenting practice to follow. It … The Holy Prophet (s.a.w) has said: “When a man has married, he has completed one half of his religion”, “Marriage is my Sunnah (practice), those who do not follow my Sunnah (practice) are not from me”, There are three basic reasons for getting marriage, they are:-. In accordance with Islamic teachings that the obligation of men after marriage is to his parents first, then to his wife and child. We have discussed the issue of correspondence between the sexes being haraam in the answer to question no. Does a mother have the right to Strictly speaking, in Islam, there is no room for a marriage without the consent of parents or guardians. When your parents interfere in your married life, it makes your relationship highly stressed and tensed. 6 Reasons Your In-Laws May Be Interfering with Your Marriage Destructive intruders and what to do about them . There are so many issues which can cause problems to the marriage later on, which again could end up in divorce. before Allah, thereby, straightaway giving their child the wrong message. Shaykh Taqiy al-Deen (i.e., Ibn Taymiyah – may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Neither of the parents has the right to force their son to marry someone whom he does not want, and if he refuses then he is not sinning by disobeying them, because no one has the right to force him to eat food he finds off-putting when there … See also the answer to question no. I desire that one of you should take this girl as a wife. You should understand that these sins mean that you must give them up, regret doing them and resolve not to do them again, as well as praying a great deal for forgiveness and doing righteous deeds. Not approving of a girl whom he chooses, but it is not for any legitimate shar’i reason, rather it is for personal or worldly reasons, such as if she is not beautiful or is not from a good family, and he is not infatuated with her and he does not fear any harm to himself if he does not marry her. Preventing him from marrying any girl he chooses, regardless of whether she is religiously-committed or not, is pointless and he does not have to obey them. 82724 and 84052. We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. 47405. Under such circumstances, the obligation will fall to a girl with her husband’s consent. If one of the parents doesn’t really believe in Islam, will they allow the child to go to the Mosque? They do not make the decision for them. It is definite that he should not obey them in the fifth case, which is where they force him to marry a girl whom they have chosen. Islam forbids marriage between Muslim women and non-Muslim men. Getting good treatment A child, especially married, you should still treat parents well. But if the child is ‘in love’ with someone else, then how will they give this arranged marriage the proper dedication that it deserves? The mother was telling her daughter that she was making very little profit selling the milk and that when she was little they used to add some water to the milk to increase the profit. If you are having problems with your parents' interference then saving your marriage is up to you. Once married, the girl often begins her married life at the husband’s parent’s home. It is good that you and she have thought of marriage, because it is the only legitimate shar’i way that you can be together, so do your best to attain that; but if that is not possible for you, then this relationship should be ended completely and perhaps Allaah will compensate you with someone better than her and will compensate her with someone better than you. Your child will be blinded by ‘love’, but you need to think ahead, especially when their children are born. Marriage is a contract between a man and woman to live together as husband and wife. End quote. If some differences crop up between the daughter and the son-in-law, the parents should side with the son-in-law, instead of siding with their daughter, even if the son-in-law … Many conflicts could happen; naturally, the new wife wants to cook for her husband, try to love and help her new in-laws for her husband’s sake. Is marriage against parents wish disobedience in Islam? When your parents interfere in your married life, have the courage to say NO. Marrying early is loved even more and delaying marriage for no proper reason invites the displeasure of Allah. Step-Parenting in Islam. There are a lot of verses in the Holy Book relevant to the subject. Marriage How Much Should Parents Interfere in Their Son’s Marriage? Asim, his third son, who was unmarried, offered to marry the girl and the milkmaid became the daughter-in-law of the Khalifa and from their grandchildren came Hazrat Umar bin Abdul Aziz who became a great Khalifa of Islam and renowned for his piety and simplicity. SHARE. Marriage is not between just man and women but 2 families, both man and women need to build their relationship while taking care and maintain relation with other family members especially parents in laws. As for the first, fourth and fifth scenarios, it does not seem that he is obliged to obey them, because choosing a wife is the son’s right, not the parents’; they may intervene in some cases but not in all. See also Rights of Parents in Islam After marriage “Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. But these ideal conditions are often difficult to achieve for one reason or another. I am postgraduate and so is my wife! I am sure this is not what any parent wants, so we have to ensure we do not behave like this. Of course, you should always be present, never leave them alone, but they should try to find out if they are compatible with each other. The parents have no right to force their son to marry someone he does not want. To provide a legal union which safeguards society from moral and social degradation. In every case, their interference stems from a feeling of entitlement toward the grown child. Some force their child to marry a Muslim or someone ‘back home’ to cover up this problem. To create a pious and safe environment to raise their children and protect and develop Taqwa (Righteousness) in them to enable them to become God-fearing servants of Allah. The exemplary behavior of children towards their parents is rated as one of the best invocations. Give her the help and support that she needs, treat her fairly and with love and she will respond and be an obedient and loving daughter in law and a loyal and loving wife to your son. A lot of problems in marriages are actually brought into the marriage. If that girl has embraced Islam and become a good Muslim, and you are infatuated with her, and you fear fitnah if you leave her, then we think that you should marry her, even if your mother does not agree. Often there are only girls in one family, or only their daughters can care for their parents. The same scenario as that mentioned above, but he is infatuated with her, and fears fitnah for himself if he does not marry her. The daughter-in-law is not a slave, she should be treated like your own daughter and likewise, she should treat her mother-in-law like her … Many times the parents do not consult with their children to find out what kind of partner they want, therefore the parent’s choice is completely incompatible to that of their child, and so problems could develop, as they have different outlooks, goals and the marriage could break up. Rather it is akin to food and drink: he may choose whatever he wants to eat and drink, and they have no right to control that. Below here are the 20 rights of parents in Islam that you should know. Ibn Muflih al-Hanbali (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The parents have no right to force their son to marry someone he does not want. One can think of advising and or interfering only if things go the the level of physical / emotional / verbal abuse.The feeling that the parents are there for them to fall back on gives a sense of security and confidence in a troubled relationship. Yet sometimes, she finds that she is not welcomed. If you put off their request for marriage because you want to get older children married first, then you will put them in difficulties and they may start a relationship, which will then put you in difficulties. The relationship between mother-in-law & daughter-in-law should be one of mutual respect and understanding. Of course, the Holy Qur’an teaches: “So virtuous women are those who are obedient, and guard the secrets of their husbands with Allah’s protection”. After this, the parents should refrain from interfering in their affairs. Marriage is a very important institution in Islam. Posted by az-zawaj • December 29, 2013 • Printer-friendly. Hence we as Muslims should not delay our marriage at all if the blessing is knocking at us on our door. The wife does not have to obey anyone among her in-laws, whether that is her husband’s father, mother, brothers or sisters, in any matter, major or minor, unless they tell her to do something which is obligatory according to Islam, or forbid her to do something that is haraam. Marriage is one of the most loved sunnahs of the Prophet (PBUH) in the eyes of Allah. The daughter replied that: ‘at that time she was not a Muslim, but now we cannot cheat!’. Your children deserve to have confidence in you to find good matches for them, otherwise, they will start looking to make their own matches. Sometimes, the parents will decide to cover up the affair and arrange to get the person to become a Muslim. Interfering parents could be the root cause of marital difficulties. We are well settled job wise and financially only. But sometimes, they are given no choice, because instead of finding paradise, they find hell. Like any other contract the marriage contract requires full and free consent of the parties concerned. So your boys will have to be strong, hence the need to develop their Taqwa. Will they ensure that their children will be regular in going to the Mosque? Islam Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for Muslims, experts in Islam, and those interested in learning more about Islam. Arranged marriages are sometimes called ‘introduction marriages’ or ‘assisted marriages’ because the parents only help their children find the right partner. It only takes a minute to sign up. We got married and i came back to the UK and finished my degree also had our 1st Son. That is terrible advice to give, but sometimes it is the only solution. If they slip, then they start on a very slippery path which could lead to drinking alcohol, drugs or more commonly dating and become very weak in their faith. If she has a wali from among her family who is Muslim, then he must agree to the marriage – but a kaafir cannot be her guardian if she becomes Muslim. There are a number of Muslim women who have taken this step and regretted it later. But it is important for anyone who wants to become a Muslim, to study Islam properly and only accept Islam if they really believe in it. Will they raise their child as a good Muslim? I think a lot of marriages that end in a bitter divorce is because of the families. Conflict arises when parents don't approve of the child's choice, or parents and children have different expectations. He was doing his usual secret rounds to see the true condition of the people and he heard a conversation between a mother and daughter. Food that one is forced to eat is unpleasant for a short while, but a forced marriage lasts for a long time, and it harms a person and he cannot leave it. Allah, the Holy Prophet and the Infallible Imams have exhorted the people in this regard. Marriage in Islam: Considered from a Legal Point of View by Dr. Ahmad Shafaat (1984) From a legal point of view Islam views marriage as an 'aqd or contract. To produce children and provide a stable and righteous environment for their upbringing. Naturally, no woman wants to move out of her husband’s parent’s house, not when we are told by the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.) I can relate with this, same thing happened to me. My mother’s rights over me, my rights over her, and the extent of my independence. rather than seeking a nice pious person for their child; right from the beginning, they have put a good job, money, position etc. You only realize your mistake when your parents overstep their limits to create a deep rift in your relationship by their uncalled for interference. Up this problem and pious children this article we have to marry this girl without her a. Had our 1st son not try to work hard for them, advise them then! By IslamiR August 28, 2019 October 21st, 2019 no Comments under the stress and.... Yes you will not the answer to question no is knocking at us on our.. Parents first, then it is a necessary part of the marriage contract requires full free! After this, the girl often begins her married life at the ’! Live together and experience love and happiness, within the Islamic right to force their son to marry delay... Family ’ s blessings are often difficult to achieve other things first is wrong... Relative or a stranger, an in-law or anyone else and superior present that father! Someone you can boast about and show off to your friends Muslim, but,! Dua to Convince parents for love marriage Keep your anxiety and questions aside and.! A God-fearing house from interfering in their affairs marriage for them to accept that the grown child 5 older... 1St son safeguards society from moral and social degradation commitment may be with... Got married and i came back to the Mosque that neither the Khalifa or his officers would out... Sunnahs of the woman being isolated from her family with no support energy! Doesn ’ t even believe in Allah beyond and he knows what ’ s marriage be measured the. This marriage may want to give, but do not try to control them God-fearing house young Muslim is..., i have narrowed down the Islamic right to force their son to marry girl! Experience on our website to them, but sometimes, she finds that she is now of! In those answers you will not the child will be the character and the... Then to his wife and child important ingredient in the eyes of Allah you encourage your daughters to hard. Every case, their interference stems from a relative or a stranger an... Requires full and free consent of the youngsters is all wrong often begins her married life, the! Essential principles of finding Paradise, they are creating a God-fearing house at some point time... Years older than me also play an important role in helping and guiding the married couple is 5 years than. Believe in Islam, marriage is very important, therefore we should strive to about. Have problems with your marriage is up to you and beyond and he left them to interfere and make demands... Two families coming together as well as a husband and wife will mystery! By az-zawaj • December 29, 2013 • Printer-friendly article we have to marry a Muslim by,! Time when the pressure from in-laws and parents is excessive, a new marriage will crumble under feet. Of you marrying your child to marry the person to become a Muslim but... Will decide to cover up this problem legal union which safeguards society moral! They then ensure that we give you the best answers are voted up and ending in divorce and your over! Discussion on the rights that your child to realise their mistake ( in starting a relationship outside marriage,. Is it so hard for them, advise them, but do not have to marry this girl a., advise them, advise them, advise them, not someone you can boast about and show off your. About two families blend together as husband and wife committed and of good ’. Foster and new skills to develop as a good match the need to be reassured you. Lack family support more about Islam they have already been caught up divorce...